Wanna start a flamewar? Mention Five Pawns on a vaping forum.
You know Five Pawns – that ultra-premium juice from California. The problem is, ultra-premium means expensive, and some vapin’ folks ’round these parts don’t cotton to that!
How dare some nice people try to make a living producing a high-quality niche product!? This is the e-cig world, where DIY modders and home-mixers freewheel and rule the roost with an iron, juice-stained fist. It’s the wild west and we like it that way! Rip off! Burn the witches! I can make the same thing for a nickel!
But you can’t, Johnny DIY. You really can’t. And like it or not, the world of e-cigs is rapidly expanding and maturing (they get big so quick!), and that means things change. That might even mean some intrepid folks want to push the envelope and make a living at it, too.
Let’s just say it – a lot of vapers are broke. Our hobby attracts a lot of college-aged kids and young adults (I can’t believe I just typed “young adult” in earnet). This demographic tends to lack disposable income. This demographic also crashes into the DIY crowd on the trusty old Venn diagram. Young, broke DIYers have pride. And outrage. Lots of outrage in great supply.
So yeah, Five Pawns ruffled some feathers with their premium $27.50 juice. But here’s the thing – their insidious minds have yet to find a way to brainwash you into spending money you don’t want to spend. I’m quite certain those bastards are hard at work on it, but they haven’t figured it out yet. (Or have they…?)
Dammit, the reviews are glowing. And people want to taste all the good stuff. It drives them nuts they can’t afford it, so…. rage.
But here’s another thing, pal – it’s just juice. It’s expensive. It’s delicious. But it’s still just juice. And working yourself into a lather over something you want – but no can has – is petty and stupid. You’re better than that, bros.
So don’t hate me when I say, it’s worth the money.
Yeah, I said it. Let a thousand flamewars with the intensity of a thousand exploding suns wreak havoc across the globe. I’ll wait.
It’s good shit, dude. It really is. And I don’t mind paying for it once in a while. (Hey, I’ve got this cushy vape blogging gig. Six figures, bro. Six figures.)
Is it going to be my all-day vape? Hell no. I can’t afford it, and even if I could, it’s not that kind of juice. This stuff is the treat at the end of the week, not the daily grind. This is Knappogue Irish Whisky on a Saturday evening, not a Wednesday PBR with free happy hour wings.
And that’s a good thing. The vaping world needs to expand. There’s room for different classes of juice. It can’t be a Mt. Baker world forever. Lots of mixers are pushing the envelope, and we’re all going to benefit from it.
So stop. Stop hating. Let them crazy guys make their cask-infused, Jesus-blessed, unicorn-tear elixir, and laugh when the suckers with more money than sense buy it. And maybe – just maybe – I’ll even share some with you.
Note: I got my Five Pawns Gambit the old-fashioned way; I paid for it. No freebies here to influence my drunken rambling. However, now that I’m done… if you 5P guys are reading, feel free to send me a LuAnn Platter.